Today, my friends, is the infamous "take your kids to work day" at my company. I was initially impressed at the way the rules of the road were laid down by the company. ONLY children from ages four to eleven are welcome, you can ONLY bring your kids to work if you pre-signed the liability contract by March 23rd, blah blah blah. I also have to say that in the company's defense, they planned out all sorts of kid-friendly activities in some hidden room in the building, so by the time 3:30 rolled around we had yet to see any children in our department. I figured I was in the clear from having to pry small talk out of some one's 7-year-old.
That was not to be the case.
Scene 1: Me, sitting at my desk, realize that "I kind of have to pee" has turned into "I must pee within the next 25 seconds or risk the ire of the cleaning crew." I dash the short distance from my office to the bathroom and run into the third stall down, partially unbuttoning my jeans as I lock the door and spin around. In passing, I catch a fleeting glimpse of a woman at the sink with two little girls (presumably between the ages of 4 and 11).
Scene 2: I'm sitting in the stall, enjoying my pee-pee chills (you know how when you have to pee SO BAD and you finally do, and then all the hairs on your arms stand up? those are pee-pee chills). I hear slow, methodical little footsteps walking down the line of stalls. A small shadow passes slowly in front of the 1/2 " crack between my stall door and the frame, then comes to a stop. I see little tiny dirty sneakers turn to face me, smack dab in front of my stall. Then one of the sneakers takes a little step left, and a little voice whispers "PEEK-A-BOO!" There is now a little eye pressed up to the crack, watching me pee. Seriously. I had no idea whose child this was, so I wasn't sure that yelling "BEAT IT!" was appropriate. I made sure I had my left arm covering my lady business area, then I gave her a little awkward smile and waved weakly with my right hand. Thought that would be the end of it. But if you pay attention to details like I know you do, you will remember that there were not just one, but two little people at the sink. As I'm concentrating on not becoming a bathroom pervert to little person number one, little person number TWO decided to one-up her sister, and I heard another excitedly whispered "PEEK-A-BOO!" coming from down near my feet. Yup, number two's head was claiming the prime real estate between my right ankle and right butt cheek. Brilliant. Finally, FINALLY, mom stopped primping herself at the sink and called out to the girls to leave. They both waved goodbye as if we had just shared the most normal interaction in the world, then off they scampered. Cute.
That is hilarious! Sorry to revel in your misery, but that was so funny
ReplyDelete