This is how we do it

Ok, so by ‘we’ I mean ‘I’…but if for even one second Montell Jordan entered your mind then for realz yo, my work here is done. And in case he didn’t…please do yourself a solid and click here.

I first need to state for the record that I owe the Herb Gods a HUGE apology. I’m not talking about Biggie Smalls or Snoop here (although truth: I would give up a limb to hang out with Snoop for an hour). I’m speaking of the Gods of the herbs of the earth…those fragrant gifts known as sage, thyme, rosemary and the like. I have maintained for much of my adult life that I despise these herbs. Rosemary chicken? No thank you. Thyme-infused turkey breast? I’ll take a pass, please. However, I am slowly coming around to the fact that along with other random foods like celery and cilantro, I may have come to love them. (Exception: dill. I have never, don’t, and will never EVER tolerate it in my mouth, unless it is in pickle form. Also, cantaloupe=gag.)

I was going to make a long story short, but as my most awesome Uncle Bob used to say, “too late.” What I’m getting to is that my night last night was pretty fecking stellar. Let me show you in (mostly) picture form:

Got home from work and rubbed a center cut pork loin with a blended mix of 6 sage leaves, 1/8 cup olive oil, some oregano, garlic and salt. Left it to sit for 30 minutes. (Also, I scored it to get more flavor all up in there.)

While it was sitting, I did a butt/thigh workout combo courtesy of Verizon Fios on demand. (It was very effective…my own butt/thigh combo is killing me today.)

Then, I took my hunk of meat and seared it in a skillet over very high heat on all sides (about 5 minutes). This is the point where I wish I had smell-o-vision because the scents rising up off that hunk? INCREDIBLE. Hellooooooooo, sage!

The recipe then called for me to add some tomatoes and then heavy cream before roasting in the oven (same skillet) for 40 minutes. In retrospect, my tomatoes disappeared, and although it looked pretty I don’t think the cream added anything (perhaps because I used fat free half and half). Next time I think I’ll just add some chicken stock or some other liquid concoction.

While the roast was roasting (insert picture of roast roasting)…

 …yum. So as I was saying, while that was going on I did another workout (some sort of sexy stretching thing that most assuredly did NOT look sexy on my side of the TV) and painted my nails this lovely new color. It’s called “Love in the Forest.” I’ll tell you, it was “Love in my Living Room” for sure.

 The last step of the roast was to take it out and add more cream, some gin and more sage leaves and roast for another 15-20 minutes (feel free to mix yourself a G&T right about now):

The final product will never be seen because I am a clumsy fool. I took the skillet out of the 425 degree oven and placed it on the stove top, using the appropriate burn-proof tools. Then I did the unthinkable, and grabbed the handle of the skillet to pick it up.

OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Burns all over my fingers and palm. Cooking fail. And sadly, not the first time I’ve done that. Anyway, I alternated between icing it with an ice pack and just holding an ice-cold glass of white. I’m nothing if not resourceful.

All injuries aside…the pork, when paired with garlic and herb flavored cous cous, was dabomb.com. Fancy dinner for one made for a marvelous Monday indeed.