Subtle Nuances

This is a somewhat edited gchat conversation (took out unnecessary parts) I had with my brother this morning (who runs marathons in like 10 minutes and was my inspiration to run in the first place):

For reference, here is chris demolishing boston at mile 12 this year

Chris: how’s your running going?
i signed up for a 4 mile on thanksgiving in somerville(what i heard: “i have a broken hand and a bruised heel, yet i’m still going to run on a day when everyone else eats all the foods in the land. nbd. and YOU?)

me:  oh nice. i think i’ll be ready for at least a 5K by then

(what i meant: sorry, buddy. there’s no way i’m running 4 miles on thanksgiving. i have a turkey to cook and the foods to eat…alllll of the foods)

Chris:  you thinking about the jingle bell run in december in somerville?

(what i heard: just because you think you’re sly with that response doesn’t mean i’m going to stop casting bait. run, sister…RUN!)

me:  uhhh…no. have never thought about it

(what i meant: moving on…)

Chris:  i run in the morning so i can be a lazy drunk ass the rest of the day

(what i heard (in human talking to doggy voice): doesn’t that sound FUN?! you LOVE to be a lazy drunk ass!!!)

…5 minutes later…

me:  ok fine you just inspired me…signed up for the turkey classic road race  

(what i meant: happy, jerk butt?)

Chris:  cool.

(what he meant: i wiiiiiiiiiinnn, sucka!!!)

(what he was doing in his head, which is what he ALWAYS does on water slides):