Sometimes I remember the most random shit about my childhood.
Today I remembered that my mom always used to say, “keep that up and I’ll put you in traction.”
Once I got to be a little bit older (and nerdier, and more of a pain
in the ass), I researched what traction actually was (picture below) and
went as far as to ask my mother to further clarify her threat.
“So Mom…when you say that, do you mean you will hurt me enough to
make it so I need to be in traction, or do you mean you will physically
restrain me by taking me to the hospital and literally putting me in
traction yourself?”
Her response: “Ask me again and you’ll find out.”
(I never did find out…I was brave, but not stupid. My mother is bad ass.)
ALSO, while looking for a Google image of traction, I found this
wonderful blue thing. It says “You wrap it around your neck and then go
to town with the handheld pump until it’s inflated enough to relieve
pressure caused by pinched nerves, tension headaches and
osteoarthritis.” I NEED IT. I want to "go to town with the handheld pump"!
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