5:50 am: alarm went off

I hit snooze, and then wondered what strange sensation I was feeling. Hmm…I had felt it before, but this time it was completely unplanned…

I needed to run.
 

Before I could change my mind, I quickly changed into my running clothes and downed a half cup of coffee. Check for motivation? Still there. I dashed out the door, expecting a cold wind in my face as I hurried across the parking lot to the gym. What I found instead was a still, eerily quiet morning that was shrouded in fog. It could have been a movie set. Lest I miss the major hint being thrown at me by Ms. Nature (she hates the gym), my ipod informed me that it would not be working this morning due to a lack of charging on my part. In my opinion, the gym without music is completely insufferable.

Decision made. I ran back inside and ditched my headphones, ipod and water bottle. Went back outside and headed towards the start of my 2 mile hill run.

You guys…wow. There was no one around; I could feel the silence. The only sound being made was my feet hitting the ground and my breath panting to the beat of an internal song only I could hear. I’ve heard people describe the whisper of falling leaves but today I heard it, really heard it, for the first time. Their slow, fluttery fall to the ground reminded me that things are so much bigger than me and my imaginary problems. In fact, to even entertain the thought that I might have problems at that moment beyond getting to the top of each hill seemed ludicrous. The problem is that I haven’t been slowing down and stopping to truly appreciate what is around me. To actively engage my senses…all of them…and to actively disengage my mind. I need to focus more on hearing and less on speaking. More on seeing and less on trying to show.

I was lucky enough to complete my first mile without any cars passing by or other worldly sounds breaking into my reverie. About halfway through my second mile, I heard a school bus coming. My first thought was that not only would it be loud as it got closer, but the smell of burning diesel would be sure to invade my nose and give me an insta-headache. Instead as it passed by, I heard the sound of laughing children and was reminded that every day doesn’t have to start with a yawn and a countdown to Friday.

I’m thankful for my run this morning because it reminded me that although any run makes you feel better afterward, running outside is SO. MUCH. MORE. It’s a recharge, an opportunity to think things out and create in your mind, and to cultivate the relationship you have with your own body. With every mile I run I can feel my confidence growing and my worries fading. Therefore I will run more miles.