Chocolate covered BACON peanut brittle. Bacon, I said.

Prudes beware...this is a dirty post (with pictures)

Kale:  Hey girl, I want to be inside you.

Me: Oh yeah...get in here!

Kale: I know it sounds cheesy, but you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Me: Cheese, you said? Yes, I do have some fresh parmesan now that you mention it. Let's get kinky.

Spinach: I think vampires are hot. 

Me: Me too, but you should always use protection...especially with vampires. I have some if you need it.

(See what I did there?)

Shrimp: Nice. Now let's get in the hot tub. Give me a hand?

Me: Of course, baby...I got it nice and steamy for you, just the way you like it.

(ten minutes later)

And then they all had the best food orgy ever.

The end.