Swass and Swoobs: Real Talk

If you don't know what swass and swoobs are, shit's about to get REAL up in here. Let me preface the subject by saying that I think sweat (mainly referring to the workout variety) is sexy. It's a natural bodily function, a pretty little sheen of sparkle that coats your body while you bump and grind your way to a bangin' boday.

However, sweat isn't cool enough to just hang out on the 'pretty' places...wouldn't it be nice if it did? Sparkly shoulders, collar bones, maybe a little bit on the upper cheek bones? But no, not so much. Sweat likes to hang out and accumulate in your 'hot spots'. We're talking your pits, your lower back, and we know it doesn't stop there.

Ladies, let's chat. One of the hottest spots on our bodies is obviously the zone between our waists and our thighs. If we just walked around or ran at the gym (or otherwise stayed standing), this conversation would be over. However, I had a situation happen in the gym yesterday which made me wonder what all of my fellow gals were doing about the dreaded phenomenon of the swass (sweaty ass). I could use more explicit words, but this is a family show it's kind of embarrassing.

I've been going to the gym with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks now, and for the most part we do our own thing. I've mainly stuck to cardio and body weight exercises, while he does some cardio and then goes to the weight machines. I've been wanting to try out some of the machines, but there have been groups of young guys all over them when I've wanted to explore, and I was a little intimidated. Yesterday was the perfect scenario: early on a Sunday morning, and we pretty much had the whole place to ourselves. I asked if he would mind walking me through a few things (again taking advantage of him being a personal trainer), and we first spent 10 minutes warming up with cardio. I hit the elliptical, and hit it hard. High resistance, hills, speed, all of it. Including SWEAT. I didn't think much of it until I had just completed my first set on the bicep curl machine and had to stand up. As I rose, I looked down with complete mortification to see the imprint of my ladiest of parts outlined in sweat on the seat. Ugh. I tried to do the maneuver where you slide off the seat and wipe it with your butt cheek (that's my move on the stationary bike), but to no avail...I just ended up looking like my legs went out on me. I then tried to distract him for the 5-10 seconds it would take for the imprint to dry (look! over here! a UNICORN!!!), but he bent over to adjust the weight for him and spotted it. He looked up at me and immediately started laughing, presumably at the mortified expression on my face. I mean, we haven't been together for too long--I'm trying to keep it pretty here. I kind of mumbled 'uh...that's my butt sweat' (no shit, Sherlock) and awkwardly laughed. 

Luckily, he's awesome and laughed it off. But seriously ladies, how can we prevent this totally normal but not remotely attractive situation? Any tips?

Perks

One of the perks of living in the complex where I live is that a gym membership is included in my rent. They just finished renovating the gym and it looks beautiful, although it's kind of small. Whatever--I'll take it! It's literally next door to my apartment, which makes "I don't have time to go to the gym" an invalid argument.

Pretty fancy, huh?

Last week I got back into gear with working out, and after 3 days in a row of running and body weight exercises I could barely walk. Another perk I'm enjoying lately is having a boyfriend who is a former personal trainer, who not only provides me with daily programs as needed, but is sweet enough to show up with nice presents like this eucalyptus muscle soak when I'm complaining about my ass hurting from simply sitting still.

(Yup...you read that right. I am now somebody's girlfriend and couldn't be happier about it. My apologies to those of you who were living vicariously through my horrible online dating experiences.)

Ok listen...

Sometimes people consume bags of kale that are larger than their actual heads, and other people do not need to be the judge of that. (Not that I know of any such person...I read it in a magazine.)

Paleoary (that's an all-Paleo January)

After losing 15 pounds the first time I did the strict month of Paleo, I kept most of it off in the following few months by keeping to a 'mostly' Paleo diet. As the holidays came and went, the 'mostly' became 'mostly not' and the scale showed it. More importantly, I felt icky. 

So January is my second strict month of Paleo. Yesterday was Day 1, and although I had two meals and they were both at restaurants I managed to stick with it (this of course is pretending they don't secretly load butter and/or other un-Paleo ingredients into my food). 

Brunch:

Tomato, onion and mushroom omelette with no cheese
Side of fruit
Black coffee
No home fries, no toast

Dinner:

Chicken BLT flatbread sandwich with avocado, which I removed from the bread
Side of salad instead of fries
Water

This morning I woke up starving and had to scavenge through my empty fridge. I came up with an ounce of pepperoni, some mushrooms and 2 scrambled eggs. Not awful!

Now it's time to plan and go grocery shopping because the next thing I eat is a spoonful of coconut oil and/or the cats.

Not cool, Runner 4

As you could probably could tell from my post about my dad yesterday, I've been in kind of a sobby mood recently. It's a combination of the holiday season, and the fact that I'm generally an extremely optimistic, upbeat person, but sometimes tears just build up. If I don't have a legit reason to cry, I get a leaky face. No one likes a leaky face.

So I got home from work last night determined to either kick my run's ass, or cry out my (basically nonexistent) sorrows on said run. (Ever cried on a run? It's one of the most cathartic things if you can really get it going, but it's difficult...endorphins + sadness don't work well together.)

I fired up 'Zombies, Run' and headed out to do my Week 1, Workout 2 training run. The story now is that I'm safe in the township now, and the doctor is training me to be a 'runner', i.e. go out into the zombie lands to retrieve things for the humans. They mentioned at the beginning that I might have a surprise or some company during the run, but after about 10 minutes I forgot all about it. 

I ran the route with the big hill behind my house, taking a couple of extra side streets to get some more distance. It is pitch black out there with no streetlights, so I was wearing a headlamp. It was also freezing out, so my breath came out as fog, lingering in the air in front of me (also where my headlamp was aimed) and making for an extremely spooky atmosphere.

So I'm in the last 10 minute "free form run", where you can do whatever you like, and getting all into my Taylor Swift tunes (don't you dare judge me) when all of a sudden in my left ear I heard a zombie sound. Just as I was saying "oh god no" and picking up speed, the 'zombie' yelled, 'BOO!' then started giggling. It was just Runner 4, playing a little prank on me.

NOT FUNNY

Once my heart resumed normal beating and I finished planning Runner 4's slow death in my mind, I ran (wee wee wee wee) allllllllll the way home. 

Here's the summary (I laughed when he told me to pick up sports bras for the girls).

Moving Right Along

After Saturday's 'getting chased by imaginary zombies' run, I was appropriately sore on Sunday. You know when your quads are so sore that your legs do a sort of mini-collapse and bend backwards when you walk rather than being able to support you? Yeah, I was that.

However, I was still feeling good about getting back on the exercise wagon. I went for brunch with a friend (Jewish deli...no bagel? Impossible...I had half of one). We then decided to go to the movies to see Silver Linings Playbook (quite good, mainly because I want to hump Bradley Cooper's leg). 

I got home at around 5:30, feeling bloated from popcorn and salt and kind of wanting to go to bed. BUT I DIDN'T. I put sweatpants and sneakers on, and did a fast walk up and down the 6 floors of my building, doing jumping jacks at each set of stairs. It took 30 minutes exactly, and I was so glad I did it.

Yesterday was supposed to be a run day, and as luck would have it the Patriots were on Monday Night Football. I mishmashed my plans of running and cooking dinner at home with going to a friend's house for sushi, and ended up going to her house, running in her neighborhood (which happens to be my old neighborhood and one of my favorite running places), and picking up sushi on the way back to her place. 

The run this time was less scary...I (Runner 5) am in the township now, which is safe. I worked with 'the doctor' on training in the township (see training plan below: the 'run for 15 seconds' thing was frustrating, but probably the best way to start). I liked the way it was set up (a little different than C25K), because by the time you get to the 'free form run' at the end you're all warmed up and wanting to move:

I'll tell you this: the spicy tuna and spicy scallop maki, beer, and football combo at the end was about 200 more satisfying after having worked for it. 

Zombies, Run!

Relevant background information:

When I am chased, I have neither a fight nor a flight response. I simply sit down, essentially presenting myself as bait. I believe it was my brother who summarized it so eloquently: 'So, you basically have no survival skills at all?'

I'm not proud of this fact (nor amused when people try to test the theory), so I decided to work on it. I downloaded the Zombies, Run! app on my phone, the 5K program. I've been sidelined from making any progress due to the toe situation for a few weeks, but by this morning I was itching to get out into the fresh air and get back on track.

At first it was a disaster. I woke up at 7am wide awake and ready to rock and roll, but then thought that since I had 4 shots of tequila last night I MUST be hungover (I wasn't) and therefore should return to bed for a bit. 'A bit' turned into four hours. Whatever, I'm more than rested now. I got up, took a quick shower, chugged some V8 and water and put on my running clothes. Toe felt good in the sneakers. Phone had just enough charge to get me through the run. But then I couldn't find my headphones, my new iPhone holder strap-on thingie was too big and awkward, and I couldn't get my house key off the ring. I spent 20 minutes looking for the headphones to no avail, then just said screw it and grabbed the buds that came with my iPod (which I hate). I also said screw it to the iPhone holder and shoved the phone in my bra instead. Got my ass out the door. SUCCESS.

It's damp and slightly rainy and chilly today--my favorite running weather! I started up the app, which incorporates a story into your run in between songs from your own phone, and headed out. The story is essentially that you are in a helicopter, heading to a human town in a zombie-infested post apocalyptic land or something to that effect. The helicopter crashes, and people from the human town are speaking to you over the radio. They guide you back to base, letting you know when to speed up because zombies are chasing you (they tell you not to turn around and to run as fast as you can, all while zombie sounds are fading in and out--CREEPY.) I had my Garmin on, along with the heart rate monitor, so it was kind of funny to see my heart rate spike throughout the run when the voices came on.

The chart above is my elevation (in green) overlayed with my heart rate (in red). I basically walked/ran up a giant hill and then turned around and ran back down. The amusing part is that the heart rate elevation at the end where the elevation is decreasing is sort of because I was running rather than walking, but  mainly due to the fact that I was running FAST because that was the part where the zombie was right behind me. I got all panicky and I would have loved to watch myself, silently chanting 'ohshit ohshit' while I ran home. At least I didn't sit down, right?

The best laid plans...

I like to set little goals for myself each morning. I might say that I'm going to do 10 pushups against the bathroom sink every time I go in there, or that I will drink 3 giant bottles of water, or that I will NOT eat any of the sweets around the office. 

Today my goal was based on this cool new water bottle I snagged:

 
Since it's not that big and can easily be chugged, my goal was to refill it every time I got up to go to the bathroom. Can you spot the flaw in my logic? 

Hint: I may as well move my desk into the ladies room.

Perk: Significant steps taken in an otherwise sedentary job.

Kale is my boyfriend, but I abused the hell out of him last night

I'm so pumped to have found kale all washed and cut up and ready to go, just at the time of year when the fresh kale on the shelves looks like a line-up of tired, sweaty tween girls at the end of a junior high dance.

(I'll give you a moment to fully cultivate the above image with your mind..........)

Last night, though...my man kale took the back burner to my lover--cheese. Poor kale became merely a mechanism in which to deliver the bag of shredded parmesan I had straight into my belleh. Like I literally started out by shaking the bag of cheese gently over the saute pan, then I looked around (note: I was alone) and straight up DUMPED the bag into the pan. Then I said (out loud, with no feeling), "oooooops."

We'll go ahead and blame the lady hormones. We can also blame them for me crying over a Toyota commercial. 

I love you, kale. (But I lust for you, cheese)

Prudes beware...this is a dirty post (with pictures)

Kale:  Hey girl, I want to be inside you.

Me: Oh yeah...get in here!

Kale: I know it sounds cheesy, but you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Me: Cheese, you said? Yes, I do have some fresh parmesan now that you mention it. Let's get kinky.

Spinach: I think vampires are hot. 

Me: Me too, but you should always use protection...especially with vampires. I have some if you need it.

(See what I did there?)

Shrimp: Nice. Now let's get in the hot tub. Give me a hand?

Me: Of course, baby...I got it nice and steamy for you, just the way you like it.

(ten minutes later)

And then they all had the best food orgy ever.

The end.

It's a Christmas Miracle!

Before I get to the miracle part, let me just yammer on a bit with some completely irrelevant background information. In fact, it's so irrelevant that it probably doesn't even count as background but I'm throwing it in this post because I feel bad for it. Mainly because it's sad and negative and it deserves to be placed in with a miracle. So there.

Yesterday (and many days of late) I was once again reminding myself that when I was doing strict Paleo I felt like a rock star. I was losing weight, feeling in control, and making both mental and behavioral decisions I hadn't in years. With the recent intrusion of Thanksgiving (oh, let's be honest...October, Halloween, November, Thanksgiving, ETC) I've been pretty lapse in my good decision making. I was maintaining the weight I had lost, but over the last week I got a little out of hand (we're talking things like mixing leftover mashed potatoes, stuffing and turkey in to balls, breading and frying them) and gained 3 lbs. Consequently, I feel like crap. (But in case you wanted to see the leftover fried balls of delish...)

#thisiswhyyourefat

Now, changing course slightly...and including one of those embarrassing disclosures I'm so very good at. As some of you know, I've been doing the online dating thing. It's resulted in mainly humorous stories, with a success story or two (ok, just one) thrown in for good measure. Last week I had started communicating with a guy so similar to me in personality, wit and humor it was uncanny (and obviously fun talking to him). All was going well, a date was planned, and we were communicating via text multiple times during the day as well as a phone conversation here and there. One day we sent a few pics back and forth of us with our families. Now obviously I have pictures on my profile, but while I try to make it somewhat clear that I'm not a size 2, it's not like I'm going to put anything outright unflattering on there. I would kind of like to think that the right guy will not only see past my chub curves to my stellar personality, but would actually find me to be sexy as-is. I took a chance and sent him this picture, which is of me with my siblings. Since I'm standing in between my teeny sister and manorexic brother (love you, Chrisr), I thought it would be a good way to show my, uh, 'proportions'. 

Yes, we have every possible hair/eye color combination

 So, I sent the picture...and almost immediately after that, his communication with me began dwindling. He became very slow to respond, and when he did--one word answers. Clearly I don't have the patience for that, and I wasn't about to hold my Saturday night open for it either. On the off chance that he randomly just had a ton of stuff going on (this took place on the day before Thanksgiving), I sent him a text the day after Thanksgiving simply stating that clearly something had happened to change his interest level in me, and saying I assumed he wanted to cancel Saturday night. He responded 'Yes sorry'. OUCH. I mean I knew that was going to be his response, but it just sucked. And I'm not going to obsess over it or even be 100% sure it was the picture that changed his mind, but chances look good that it was. I responded nicely and said 'That's ok, I'm not for everyone. Best of luck to you.' He wrote back 'Thanks, you too. You're pretty awesome.' So....who knows? The important part of this story is that I was talking to my friend Tony about it afterwards, and he was like (summarizing), 'What do you even care? You never even met the guy! You're happy with the way you look so screw him.'  Yes, but that last statement? It's not true at all. I'm not happy with the way I look. In fact, I'm miserable with it, and think I could probably change the world if I had the daily mind power available to me that I spend worrying and lamenting over my size. It was actually surprising to me that someone so close to me didn't know that, but I suppose it's a good indication of how I tend to hold those negative thoughts in my head, and how I never ever ask for help or pity. I'm aware that I got myself here, and no amount of anyone's sympathy will get me out of it. That's my job.

Which brings me back to the start of the Christmas Miracle story (geez, I hope you're still reading and don't think I was just tricking you into reading a bunch of sobby crap). I vowed yesterday to find 4 new Paleo recipes, go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients, and go home and cook at least 2 of them. That would give me plenty of food available for the next 2 or 3 days.

Here's what happened:

• I DID find four awesome recipes
• I DID go to the grocery store and buy the ingredients
• I DID get $30 cash back in the self-checkout line
• I did NOT take the $30 from the machine when I checked out
• CURSES!

By the time I realized it I was home, and I figured that the $30 was good and gone. Bummer. Just in case, I called the store on my way to work this morning and asked if anyone had happened to turn the money in. Enter miracle: THEY DID. They asked if I had my receipt, which I figured I did not because Stop and Shop receipts are about 75 feet long and I always throw them out before I even leave the store. Enter miracle 2: I DID. It was in my trunk! I marched right in there and presented my receipt to the tune of $30! I know it was my money, but it kind of felt like I won it.

So there you have it, folks. A true Christmas Miracle. Pass it on...

Cod with Leek Sauce and Sweet Potato

We will file this under things that sound gross but are delicious. I saw this recipe on a tumbler called meatified last week and I'm so glad I tried it out! Easy, fast and delicious.

Oh my sweet baby jeebus

I'm going to need a moment. You ever just throw something together, no recipe at all but just with a wisp of an idea, and end up making THE BEST EFFING MEAL EVER?! Oh, well I did. That is all.

Acorn squash (cooked in the microwave) stuffed with grass fed beef, onion, mushrooms, and onion. Tomatoes thrown in at the last minute. Seasoned with salt, pepper, porcini finishing salt, curry powder (ding ding secret ingredient!!!) and a bit of shredded asiago for good measure. I wish you could taste it, I really do. I love you that much. 

p.s. To my fellow OCD folks...I know. That grease smear where I tried to rescue a fallen piece of onion is awfully distracting to me too. Sorry.

Ok, ok...no more brains

I've redeemed myself with the Paleo gods by preparing the most delicious thrown-together meal! 

To your left: mushrooms, onions and tomatoes sauteed and finished with porcini mushroom salt, pepper  and a dollop of real butter to add some richness.

To your right: peel-and-eat shrimp boiled with Old Bay seasoning, celery salt and garlic powder.

Question...

...are gummy brains considered Paleo? I'm hoping yes, seeing as I consumed about 40 of them today.

Mind Tricks

In anticipation of the serious feeling of missing out that comes with the initial stages of Paleo (waaahhh I want noodles and starches), I spent yesterday afternoon cooking up some delicious mind tricks for myself.

Ingredients:

• Cauliflower
• Zucchini
• Green beans
• Bacon
• Garlic
• Mushrooms
• Eggs
• Chicken (not pictured...it was a very shy chicken)
• Awesome moose cutting board (thank you, Mego!)

Behold the mastery! You are looking at:

• Cauliflower garlic mashed 'potatoes' (cauliflower, chicken stock, coconut milk, sauteed garlic, salt, pepper and some real butter)
• Zucchini 'noodles': (julienned zucchini, olive oil, garlic and 2 beaten eggs)
• Rosemary chicken (chicken, olive oil, green beans, mushrooms, bacon, rosemary and almond flour)

Back in the Saddle

I had mentioned that once my month of 'strict Paleo' eating was over, I would be morphing it into a less restrictive, hybrid version that was easier to live with.

That is apparently not a possibility for me, at least not at this time. My 80% of the time eating Paleo has gone awry, and I'm eating crap and feeling like shit. Also, the pounds are creeping right back on.

Well guess what? Not happening. I'M ONTO YOU, SELF. Catchin' yo' shit before you get out of hand.

Back to all Paleo, all the time. Starting mostly today (save for a drink or two tonight because it was preplanned and it's just meeting for drinks).

For breakfast? BET (bacon, eggs, tomato).

Interesting Factoid About Overeating

Someone at work told me that she was recently talking to her doctor about losing weight, and her doctor told her a neat little tip:

When your stomach/body is full, you will sigh. That is when you should stop eating.

I found this to be extremely interesting, and although I did zero research into seeing if it was true or not, I started paying attention to whether or not I do it. At first it was like yawning…simply thinking about sighing made me sigh. However, after a while I realized…ermagherd, it does happen!  Now mind you, I haven’t gotten to the point where I acknowledge the sigh all the time…it’s more like I’m practically hyperventilating and burping before I stop. But TODAY…today was different. I got a salad with grilled chicken for lunch. Barely used dressing. Started eating one side with the intention of only eating half (it was huge). But before I could even get to the halfway point I sighed, sighed and sighed again. There now. I stopped.

And once I spread it all back out again, look how much I had left over:

It looks like I didn’t even start, which is why I would normally continue eating it. But I did start…and I ate for 20 minutes and was more than full. I’m glad. Not only is it a great visual for all for the extra food I would have jammed into my poor unsuspecting stomach, but now I have lunch for tomorrow and probably Friday, too!

Paleo Month 1 Wrapup

Oh hi, everyone! I had been posting my daily eats for you so you could get an idea of what I was eating on the Paleo diet, but I figured those would get boring after a while.

I have since completed my first month, which was to be the most strict. That is to say:

• No wheat
• No dairy
• No alcohol (shudder)
• No sugar
• No carbs (waaaaaah)
• No legumes (no beans!)
• No soy/tofu
• No exercise (that one was added by me, as I really wanted to see what simply changing my diet would do for my body.)

My conclusions?

Let me start with the negative side, because it's impossible to ignore.

There's no way I would call this easy. First and foremost, it takes an immense amount of will power to continuously turn things down. To refuse a drink at dinner after a long week, to skip birthday cake when everyone around you is eating it, to have to order your meals without x, y and z. Explaining the diet to others is repetitive, and is often met with a list of questions from them that are essentially a list confirming what you can NOT have..."So you can't have ANY dairy? At all? What about your coffee?! I could NEVER drink black coffee. And no cheese at all? Not even on a salad? Whoa...what about pizza!? Oh my god I don't know how you do it." I'm certainly not putting people down for that reaction...I had the same one when I first heard about Paleo. Furthermore, it's not something you can just skip over and pretend you're not doing...my initial plan was to only let as few people know about it as possible so that I wouldn't have to explain it all the time, but in reality it comes up. A LOT.  It's also a lot of work to plan meals. If you aren't prepared with foods on hand that you can eat, it will only serve as a stronger reminder of what you can't as you search in vain for a quick snack. Getting invited to someone's house for dinner becomes an anxiety-ridden activity, where you worry about balancing your desire to do this amazing thing for your body with your instinct to please your friends and family and not make them feel put-out or uncomfortable.

That all being said, I will turn to the pros. I had initially started this diet to gain some control in my life, to lose weight, and to free my body of some of the toxins I have been filling it with for years. This involved a total commitment, and a change in my mind to think of food as fuel rather than a reward, a comfort, or a social aid. After 36 years of living the latter...that was a complete change of mindset. Within 3 days, I immediately noticed a change in how I felt. Without carbs and wheat filling my belly, and without sugar driving my energy levels up and down constantly, I was able to maintain a more consistent level of both energy and satiation. The protein and fat I consume keep me fuller for longer, and now when I'm hungry it's more of a feeling in my stomach, rather than me turning into a hypoglycemic mess complete with a headache, nausea and bitchy mood. On the flip side of the foods I can not eat is the variety of new foods and recipes I have incorporated into my life. Berries, almonds and coconut milk for breakfast is completely satisfying, and some of the stews I've made have been the best I've ever eaten. There isn't as much salt going into my food, and although the meals take longer to make because I'm not taking anything out of a can or the freezer for the most part, it makes the eating part that much more satisfying. 

I think I was most surprised at the feeling of control I've obtained. It has leaked over into my work life and my personal life...as a combination of planning and overseeing all of the things going into my body, I'm somehow able to handle multiple tasks and plans both at work and in my personal life with ease and without as much stress. Feeling good has made me more aware of how I look and how I'm presenting myself, and I've been making more effort to find different and better outfits to wear based on what I already had in my closet.

Now let's get to the thing most people are curious about...the weight loss. It shouldn't come as a surprise that I would lose weight by omitting some of the things above, and I did. My stomach felt less bloated within a day or two, and my body feels somehow cleaner and more effective. My clothes fit better, and things that haven't fit me in months are now slipping on with ease. The numbers break down as follows:

Month 1:

Weight loss overall: 12 lbs

Measurements:

Bust: -2.5"

Hips: -1.75"

Waist: -2.5"

Arm: -0.5"

Thigh: -0.5"

I don't need to tell you that those numbers make me happy. I've spent the last week or two experimenting with eating some dairy, some carbs and some alcohol (ok more than some)...and recognizing the difference in my body as a result of eating them.

My conclusion has been that I would like to continue this Paleo lifestyle, with some minor exceptions. I will drink on occasion, and I will incorporate some dairy here and there. The biggest change will be adding exercise, which I'm really excited about.

If you're still reading this, thank you...I know it was a long one. I just have been wanting to get my thoughts and feelings out and this is my best outlet. I hope to have some more light-hearted entertaining posts for you soon. 

I am kicking Friday's ass so far...

• Woke up, got out of bed and saw the cute little pile of cat puke just outside of my bedroom door BEFORE I stepped in it (a gift for locking them out of my bedroom for the night).

Nice try, bitches

•  Made an impromptu decision to step on the scale. I HAVE LOST JUST UNDER 10 POUNDS SINCE STARTING PALEO

Nooooo shit!

•  Cooked this delicious breakfast for myself in under 5 minutes (eggs, spinach and tomatoes sauteed with coconut oil, sliced tomato on the side)

 

• Drove all the way to work with less than no gas, hoping to save 30 cents per gallon at the Stop and Shop gas station.

Nailed it

•  I think pixelated Hulk Hogan says it best: